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Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box, by The Arbinger Institute
Free PDF Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box, by The Arbinger Institute
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Review
“Extraordinary . . . Five Stars.” —Business Ethics “The is a profound book, with deep and sweeping implications. I couldn’t recommend it more highly.” —Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People “This is the most profound and practical business book I have ever read! Everyone I have recommended this book to has been challenged intellectually and also touched emotionally. It is a must-read that I will give to my kids to read before they begin their careers.” —Tom A. DiDonato, Senior Vice President, Human Resources, Lear Corporation “I love this book. It identifies the central issue in all organizational performance. Like truth itself, this book reveals more with each re-examination. I highly recommend it.” —Doug Hauth, Business Development Manager, Convio, Inc. “Imagine working in an organization where the aim of your colleagues is to help you achieve your results. I could not believe it possible. After reading this book I just had to bring Arbinger to the UK to teach our people. What an experience! We are all better people for it. This book touches the very foundation of culture, teamwork, and performance.” —Mark Ashworth, President and CEO, Butcher’s Pet Care, UK “It’s rare to find a business book that is good enough to recommend to your boss, your work team, and your friends. The concepts in this book have transformed both the way I work and the way I live.” —Robert W. Edwards, Managing Director, Sales, FedEx “After decades of executive leadership in senior management positions, I’ve finally found in Arbinger what I consider to be the best means of improving every measure of success. From boosting the bottom line to increasing personal joy, this book shows the way.” —Bruce L. Christensen, former President and CEO, PBS “This astonishing book is a MUST-read for every executive or personal and professional coach.” —Laura Whitworth, coauthor of Co-Active Coaching, and cofounder, The Coaches Training Institute “The concepts in this book are powerful. They are fundamental to success whether on the playing field, in the office, or perhaps most importantly, at home. Read this book and you’ll see what I mean.” —Steve Young, two-time NFL Most Valuable Player “Rarely has a book had such an immediate and profound impact on the hundreds of CEOs of fast growth firms we work with through our MIT/Inc./EO Executive Program. And it’s one of those rare books that touches both the personal as well as professional lives of these leaders.” —Verne Harnish, cofounder, Entrepreneurs’ Organization, and CEO, Gazelles, Inc. “Leadership and Self-Deception is a touchstone for authentic leadership. Arbinger’s innovative exploration of what lies beneath behavior uplifts, enlightens, and transforms. We’ve wholeheartedly adopted Leadership and Self-Deception as the foundational material for our administrator development program.” —Troy S. Buer, Educational Program Director, University of Virginia School of Medicine “This is probably the most outstanding book that directs us to soul searching and introspection. It teaches us to take accountability for our lives and our destinies in a down-to-earth and bluntly practical manner. The lessons in this book have helped me personally, as well as other people I love.” —Kalyan Banerjee, cofounder and Senior Vice President, MindTree “The principles of Leadership and Self Deception provide the groundwork for our success as individuals and organizations. I recommend it highly to my fellow board members, to global networks, corporate clients, entrepreneurs, and individuals alike. “ —Heidi Forbes Öste, CEO and Founder, 2BalanceU, and Public Relations, Europe Region, Business and Professional Women International “While reading, I reviewed my life, and, sure enough, what successes there were in it were based on Arbinger’s principles. This book is a tool that could transform and elevate the way government functions!” —Mark W. Cannon, former Administrative Assistant to the Chief Justice of the United States, and Staff Director, Commission on the Bicentennial of the U.S. Constitution “Because it distills important leadership, spiritual, and life principles into one profound and impossible-to-put-down-book, Leadership and Self Deception is a treasure. MBA students in my classes share my enthusiasm for this rare book. You will surely return to this book again and again; and each time you do, it will be as penetrating a learning experience as the first time.” —Barry Brownstein, CSX Chair in Leadership, University of Baltimore “The leadership principles in this book have had a greater impact on the quality of leadership in our company than anything we have ever implemented. They have been extraordinarily important in helping make our company a great place to work while at the same time helping us focus on results and increase productivity as never before.” —Michael Stapley, President and CEO, DMBA “Simple . . . clear . . . powerful. With many years of experience in leadership, organizational development, and training I was surprised to find something strike me with such impact.” —Janet Steinwedel, President, Leader’s Insight “As a therapist I was pleasantly surprised to find that a book geared toward managers could have such far-reaching implications in my life and the lives of my clients. I believe the ideas in this book could transform the counseling profession. It is now required reading for all my clients.” —Jason Beard, family therapist “Are you relating to the world anxiously or angrily, not comprehending why you hold judgmental attitudes, feel uncontrollable fear, or unleash explosions of temper against your colleagues without being able to explain why? Do you feel hopeless and unable to change? Learn the practical tools provided in this fascinating book and eliminate this problem at its source right now!” —Marcos Cajina Heinzkill, Certified Coach and Facilitator, founder and President, Renewal, Spain “Remarkable. Arbinger possesses the hidden key to productivity and creativity. Do whatever you can to get your hands on this material.” —Dave Browne, former President and CEO, LensCrafters “This book is a rare gem that is treasured by all who have read it. The organization for which I work has passed this book to so many people, and it is amazing to watch peoples’ attitudes and behaviors towards each other changing. Each day everyone gives a little more, making us better leaders but more importantly better people.” —Nuala Murphy, Senior Vice President, Global Financial Services Company “Leadership and Self-Deception holds up a brutally honest mirror to behavior in which we all indulge to justify our shortcomings. The result is not self-remorse or punishment but a glimpse of a life to be lived with integrity and freed of the boundaries and constraints we inflict upon ourselves and others. I am always excited to watch Arbinger’s thinking help my clients to unlock painful family disputes and lead them to resolution.” —Neil Denny, family lawyer, Wiltshire, UK “A remarkable book. It can be valuable to your understanding of why so many people create their own problems, are unable and/or unwilling to see that they are creating their own problems, and then resist any attempts by others to help them stop creating those problems.” —Robert Morris, Amazon Top 50 Reviewer “I’ve been in the book publishing business for twenty five years. Rarely have I read a book as profound and life-changing as Leadership and Self-Deception.” —David Sanford, Literary Agent, Credo Communications “This book was recommended to me at an annual strategic planning session. I was stunned by the truth of it and the simple solution. Our entire management has now read it. It has been a building block for our personal and organizational development.” —Rick Chalk, CEO, Cal-Tex Protective Coatings “My business partners and I built a health-care company on the ideas in this book. We are amazed at what it has helped us achieve. Careful reading and rereading of this book has proven better than any productivity, team-building, or leadership training we’ve encountered.” —Mark Ballif, CEO, Plum Healthcare “An important book that has the potential to change the way you think, behave, and live your life, both personally and professionally.” —Rolf Dobelli, Amazon Top 50 Reviewer “Our Executive Committee read Leadership and Self-Deception nearly two years ago. Since then every member of our staff has read it. The Arbinger approach adds tremendous value as we grow the company and integrate companies we acquire along the way.” —Robin Hamill, Chairman, Igility Group
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About the Author
Founded in 1979, the Arbinger Institute has helped thousands of individuals, teams, and organizations achieve breakthrough results by making the one change that most dramatically improves performance, sparks collaboration, and accelerates innovation: a shift from the default self-focus of an "inward mindset" to the others-inclusive results-focus of an "outward mindset." Arbinger's training and consulting programs are specifically designed to facilitate this change.
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Product details
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers; Expanded edition (September 4, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1523097809
ISBN-13: 978-1523097807
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
1,475 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#4,145 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book presents simple concepts in an overly complicated and convoluted way that may leaver the reader wondering, “Exactly what are they saying here?†When all the sand is swept away, the pearl of wisdom that remains is this idea: if you behave like an insensitive jerk, you will view others as objects, not people, and blame them for the problems possibly caused by your behavior, and will not realize how your actions are contributing to the problem. The solution is to be a thoughtful, considerate person who values the thoughts, feelings and opinions of others and does not run roughshod over them. If you are not sure if you are a jerk, look at your relationships with others. If you have widespread conflict in different areas of your lives: work, family, and friends, then you are probably acting like a jerk. If you have scattered conflicts from time to time with a few individuals, then chances are those people are the problem. The book does have an interesting anecdote about a man who is woken by his crying baby, and then lies there hoping his wife will address the baby’s needs, and when she doesn’t, he starts blaming her for being lazy and inconsiderate.The audience for the book appears to be hard charging executives who run roughshod over their subordinates and families. While most of the book points out the problems of how being in the box, as the term is used in the book, it does not really offer any details on how to change behavior. Instead it points people toward the sequel entitled “The Anatomy of Peace.†The ideas in this book are covered in a clear and direct way in the book “The Servant: A Simple Story about the True Essence of Leadership†by James C. Hunter. Both books are written using a fictional business executive who is having difficulties in his work and personal life, and through training by an enlightened person, realizes his problems and reforms his ways. While story is a useful way of delivering these concepts, I would like to see real-world examples of actual people who have been transformed by these realizations.
Perhaps you like the fictional story self-help book, where the author makes up a person, a company, and situations, and then uses this fiction to deliver a message. Personally, I don't like this style. First, it's entirely made up, so there's no fact or experience to base any conclusions on, it's entirely a work of fiction. Second, it's painfully badly written, the examples are incredibly overdone, the people quite clueless. Third, it's done to hide the lack of information in the book. By turning it into a story, it helps hide how little information is actually there. The information in this book could be expressed in a single chapter, maybe even a single page.Large consulting companies write throw away books like this for their seminars and to gain credibility for their consulting practices. That's why there is no author on the book, just "Arbinger Institute". Don't be fooled by the sales numbers, they probably all come from seminars they put on, that include the book in the price.Save your time.
As an executive coach, I use books as neutral way to get a person to think things through more deeply. Self-deception is a tough subject. It is not the role of a coach to make such judgments, yet it may be appropriate to provide material to challenge a person.This book was recommended to me by a fellow who was seriously self-deceptive. He and I have since recommended it to many others.Unlike many unlikable books that dwell too much on story more than bullet points, I found myself engrossed in this story. Living it out with the author over several days, maybe weeks of reading, helped bring it to life.This is a pretty gentle way to bring up and work through a very hard subject. Read it for yourself first. Change yourself before trying to change somebody else.
Maybe…this might be my most important book recommendation for you this year.The title…timely. The contents…convicting.Last week, while reflecting on issues of leadership character and humility, I found not one, but two copies on my bookshelf of “Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box.†I had never read the book (to my chagrin).So my wife read it first this weekend—and her praise was effusive. Then I read it. (Am I the only leader that missed this gem?) I should have read it years ago (and my former staff and family would agree). If you haven’t read the book—or leveraged the insights for your organization or family—drop everything and read “Leadership and Self-Deception.†Here’s why:REASON #1: SELF-DECEPTION IS RAMPANT. You don’t need this book to recognize how other leaders are blind to their own self-deception—but it will give you handles (and a practical metaphor) for understanding the blindness.REASON #2: I AM BLIND TO MY OWN BLINDNESS. Whew. (Did I mention “convicting†and serious gut-checking?) While trying to figure out the sin and self-deception in other leaders, I wondered, how did the authors insert mirrors on every convicting page?In Scott Rodin’s book, “The Steward Leader,†he reminds us, “If I could put one Bible verse on the desk of every pastor and every Christian leader in the world, it would be this: ‘If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us’ (1 John 1:8).â€REASON #3: THE “BOX†METAPHOR. Powerful. Trust me—read and study this book with your team (and family) and you’ll be using the “box†metaphor within an hour. The second edition of “Leadership and Self-Deception†includes a short section on how to maximize the book’s impact. The authors list stunning (stunning!) examples of how the principles have transformed organizations (nonprofit and for-profit) and even police departments. In Japan, a word-of-mouth movement has launched “out-of-the-box†clubs.The business novel/fable/story format makes for an easy read (about three hours) with memorable characters, but—warning—it’s not a comfortable read.REASON #4: FAITH-BASED ALIGNMENT. While the principles of Leadership and Self-Deception are not faith-based per se—they actually are. For readers who are Christ-followers, you’ll salivate at the opportunity to integrate “Leadership and Self-Deception†with biblical wisdom.And speaking of alignment, you’ll appreciate how “Leadership and Self-Deception†enhances the insights, especially, of many other books I’ve reviewed, including The Cure: What if God isn't who you think He is and neither are you? The Advantage, Leaders Eat Last, Broken and Whole, Leading Me, Serve Strong, and What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There (to name just a few).REASON #5: REFRESHING HUMILITY—NO AUTHOR NAMES! Really! Published by The Arbinger Institute, these leaders practice what they preach—and share the credit for this book with all of their team members, including non-writers. Hence—author names are not revealed. (And note: the book has sold over one million copies.)So, could this book help you and your leadership team? Yes! From the authors: “…the myriad ways in which people have used this book and its ideas fall within five broad areas of application: “1) applicant screening and hiring, 2) leadership and team building, 3) conflict resolution, 4) accountability transformation, and 5) personal growth and development.â€
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